Earlier this evening I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes when Molly comes in. She's singing to herself and playing with two toys in her hand. She decides she's done with one of them and throws it on the ground before turning around to walk out. I tell her to pick up her toy.
Molly tells me that she does not want to pick up her toy. I ask her if the ground is where her toy belongs and she reluctantly replies that it is not.
Then come the tears.
Molly has MASTERED the art of summoning tears on a second's notice and can even get her face all nice and blotchy to really sell them. She's an excellent fake crier.
I tell her to pick up her toy or her toy is going bye-bye.
Molly counters with putting herself in a time out. Yes, my daughter would rather be in a time out than pick up a toy. My parents are probably laughing their asses off right about now. The standoff is ON.
I would also like to take this moment to pat myself on the back for not cracking up when Molly announces her timeout and stands over by the fridge with her arms crossed. It was HILARIOUS, but I kept my poker face on.
I wait quietly to see just how long this self prescribed timeout will last.
A few minutes later Molly is done and steps away from the fridge. I deserve a freakin' OSCAR for not cracking up during this next part. Molly then kicks the toy across the kitchen as she attempts to pick it up with her toes. Apparently during her timeout she decided there was a legal loophole and it was OK to touch the toy with her toes/feet. I still remain laugh-free as she scoots on her butt across the kitchen while holding the toy between her two feet. Molly puts the toy away without touching it with her hands and then looks at me to see if she can go.
Once she's back in her room I finally let out the laughter.
I'm pretty sure Molly is considering this a win.