Why we don't have presents under the tree...

I came home to discover that Michael had found the reindeer candy cane and got the green ribbon and bell off it. He then proceeded to chew off some of the green ribbon and puked it on our dining room table on top of a birthday invitation. I showed this to Molly to explain why presents don't go under our tree until Christmas Eve. Even then it's paper only or in our reusable stackable boxes.